21st June 2004

6:29pm:

the trick is to keep breathing

i'm not the same as i used to be, earlier today

i find myself crawling quickly back into a self that i used to be.

it feels like i'm struggling through muddy water.
it feels like i'm about to drown.

my nails are getting longer
and i want to use them
to claw my own eyes out


i hope someone can pull me out of this
(i hope i can do it myself actually)